Unexpected Band Director Experiences They Didn't Warn You About in College (Collaborative Post)

In our recent survey, we asked Band Directors Talk Shop readers to share a funny story about “What they don’t warn you about in college.” With many responses to the survey, we came up with this list of your answers. Thanks so much to all of our readers who took time to fill out the survey. Keep an eye out for more Readers’ Collaborative Posts in the future.

I had a student lick the cork on her saxophone instead of using cork grease. It never crossed my mind that a student would think of that!
Kid comes out of the bathroom and exclaims that the urinal is flooding, so I know the basics of fixing a urinal now.
I got in trouble with my administrators for playing Christmas songs at a Thanksgiving program. I asked them to name me some Thanksgiving songs. They couldn’t.
How many times you will say, “Don’t ride the music stand rack!”
Most of the supplies you need for being a band director actually come from the hardware store.
In my first job I taught elementary general music as well as band. I never expected to say the sentence “take that boomwhacker out of your pants” to a first grader. After school I googled the phrase “how to disinfect boomwhackers.” You can fill in the rest.
How to deal with parents who decide to go out and drink on a band trip!
I was helping a student with MuseScore and her computer was set to Korean (I teach at an international school). We had to use Google Translate to figure out how to add grace notes and change the time signature because (alas) I never learned Music Theory in Korean!
Back when I was still teaching general music, my school got brand new risers right before the music concert. Our first time using them was for a dress rehearsal the day of the concert. A couple songs in to our practice, an eruption of kids yelling “SHE PEED!!!!” interrupted our rehearsal. A kid (who had not even asked to use the bathroom) left a massive puddle of urine all over the new risers.
Classroom management for a LARGE 8th grade group near the end of the school year – hahahahaha!!!
My first day of teaching I had lunch duty (not the problem) and as soon as I walked into the cafeteria, I was caught right between two 7th grade girls starting an all out fight (was the problem). I just stayed between them as best as I could until more help arrived.
I had a beginner trumpet player this year that played everything an octave higher!